1st EP (We never bothered thinking of a title)

by Mr Kamikaze

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Recorded in two days with former Pickled Dick axe-monger Alastair Sweeney and featuring Ed's incredibly-cool-but-completely-impractical Klone Drums. They were hexagonal, white drum pads that (rumour had it) once belonged to Spandau Ballet. I'm pretty sure that was bollocks.

We were all quite excited about this recording because it was a new band and a pretty different one to the ones we'd been in before. Also we got to rip off Devo which had been a long-held ambition for all of us.

I lost my copy of this ages ago so I'm just listening to it all again for the first time in a couple of years. It's actually alright, not the first CD I'd show people if they asked me what the hell it is I actually do with my life, but certainly not complete shit. So there you go. If pressed to describe it in one word (which I'm obviously not), I'd go for 'cute.' In a 'four-year-old child saying something weird' way rather than a 'video of a cat on a tortoise' way. So there. Now you know.

Also featuring the guitar/vocals/songwriting/infectious, childlike enthusiasm of one Mark Breakdown


released January 21, 2007

Richard Bushby - Vox/guitar
Mark Breakdown - Guitar/vox
Robin Robotic - Bass/vox
Edwin Brooks - Klone Drums/Synth Programming

All songs written by Brooks/Bushby (except for waste of time which Mark wrote the end for)

All songs arranged by Mr Kamikaze



all rights reserved


Mr Kamikaze Rancho Cucamonga, California

New EP will be available right here on January 21st 2013! It will feature, among others, the song "I'm in a Pickle" the video for which can be found here www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_PtwEam24w

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Track Name: Cartoon

Sometimes I wish that I was a cartoon
Walking ‘round in a cartoon room
Singing songs for the other cartoons
Making money out of you

I’ll write a book and it’s all about me
Tales from my life for you to read
A fictional biography
For making money

Take a leaf out of my book and when it’s took
Take a chapter or two
You can learn from my life experiences
Even though they’re not true

It’s an in-joke that I’m having with myself
Raise a glass and drink to my health
And sincerely I apologise if I can’t look you in the eyes
It’s not easy getting comfy when you’re sitting on a goldmine

Or maybe I could make a film instead
About the life that I could’ve lead
About my life and philosophy
For making money

Take a moment from my life and make it right
Make it shiny and new
You can learn from my life experiences
Even though they never happened

…it’s not easy getting comfy when you’re sitting on a goldmine
Or keeping poker face when you’re shuffling a pack of lies
I don’t know who this life belongs to, but it isn’t mine
Track Name: The Picture of Doreen Gray

She had them scrape back
Lines on her face that
Spoke of her age and of the time passing by

And does she kiss with
Those collagen lips?
And when she smiles, does her face fall to bits?

She sees her picture in the mirror but the face is not hers
She’s looking like her mother looked
Staples behind her ears are holding back the years
You know she’s gonna get there soon

And she paints eyebrows where her eyebrows used to grow
Browsing magazines, she’s eyeing silicone

Now her face looks like an egg
Doreen doesn’t know what to do about it
Now she looks just like an egg
And she’s building a face so she can hide behind it

She’s getting older
Over her shoulder
The creepy-crawlies of her mortality

She’s lying in the grave
But she looks half her age!
A surge of surgeons did a dance on her face

She sees her picture in the mirror but the face is not hers
She frightens everyone she meets
Her grandchildren are scared, “What’s that thing standing there?!
A stranger, but it has no sweets…”

And she won’t go out
She’s an expressionist cubist portrait
When turned inside out
You can still see liver spots on her brain
Track Name: The Astronaut

I’d like to be an astronaut, but I’m not sure if I’ve got
The qualifications and the physical fitness I need
I’d like to be falling asleep in zero gravity, I’d like to be
Drifting off to sleep (counting robotic sheep in my dreams)
Don’t want to be a robot arm in a factory, I’d rather be

Working with animals!

I’d like to be an astronaut, way up in space I’ve often
Thought of the Earth as smaller than my thumb
I’ve often thought of myself as being
Bigger than everyone!

I’d like to perform brain surgery
“Scalpel, please” the nurse turns to me
Her heart in her mouth, a perfect brain in a jar
Can you see me on your TV? Photogenically, I’ll be performing

Medical miracles!

I’d like to see the apocalypse
Cryogenically my nemesis is waiting for me
I’d like to lead a robot army, fulfil my destiny. I’ll be

Fighting with animals!

Robotic animals!

(Cyber voles.)
Track Name: Waste of Time

Here I am again; I’m on my own again with you
We’re watching episodes 4, 5, 6 again
But we pretend there's only two

And you know that when we’re watching, we’re not talking
You say “I love you,” I say “I love you”
But I don’t know that it means a lot to you

And it means nothing in my Millenium Falcon
I can go anywhere that I want to go
And I’m back in school trying to keep all my clothes on
Then that old familiar feeling that comes when films are ending
Unstoppably descending back

Down to Earth again, I’ve not got anything to do
I’m frantically searching for a film or comic book
So I don’t have to look at you

And you know that when you’re talking, I’m not listening
You say “I love you,” I smile politely
And think of people that I could be talking to

And I’m right back up in my Millenium Falcon…
(Imagination, fly me away
To a place where I know what to say
And the sofa is so far away)
Then that old familiar feeling that comes when it's all ending
Unstoppably descending down to a place I don’t want to go

(I’m a waste of time)
Then that old familiar feeling that comes with over-thinking
Unstoppably descending down, but oh I would do anything
To stop myself from feeling like this

I’m a waste of time, a back without a spine
Just a waste of time, a body without a mind